I am one of those who put the face of "here it smells like fart" when they talk about Valentine's Day but if there is no prize at the end of the day, it shows the face of "I am full of gases". February 14 seems like an excuse to do ridiculously anecdotal things, like eating a heart-shaped pizza, but when it goes from silly excuse to "special day", Hey friend… Let's see if it's going to be true that it smells weird here.
Regardless of whether it is a wonderful day in which the sun shines more than normal and the birds sing Adele's songs or if it is another day, absolutely equal to the next and identical to the previous one, any normal person faces that person sooner or later amusement park called “San Port Valentín World”. Or something like that.
You start the day in a cafeteria. You order a coffee with milk and a donut. The waitress offers you a donut Special Edition Valentine's Day You say no, thanks. That you only want a normal one. She tells you that "normal" today is that heart-shaped donut with strawberry filling. I hate strawberry filling, I tell him. "That's like hating love!" He laughs, I try to laugh. I ask for a croissant. "Hot?". Who me?. I laugh, you try to laugh. "Coffee with milk and croissant, all normal, please" I beg. A "I love you" from WhatsApp It splashes in my face. "I love you too, mom." Like every day, I think. Miss appears with my coffee and "here is the direct croissant of Paris, the city of love". He wears a hairpin in the heart-shaped hair, it can't be true. I smile It goes. A heart of chocolate powder adorns my coffee, I deep-flush the spoon and stir without love.
You arrive at the office. Girls gang in the kitchen. Golds are taught. An illusion shows a necklace with the initial of her boyfriend. I can only think of animals and insults with that letter. The rest cheers, I drink water trying not to choke and I remember when my father gave my mother a necklace that said "Loving you ... I don't know what". I was struck by "A Mars" and for a while I thought it was some kind of secret trip, that they would abandon me and my little brother and that it would surely be my turn to tell everyone and that it would be in the news ... and that since (I thought that) the announcements were live, maybe they proposed to me to go out in some ... and ... Yes, all that I thought. From there I began to fall ill love and Mars. Well, and just then I decided to study the ads to find out well.
I explode my thought cloud as if this were a Scott Pilgrim comic and return to the table. I open Facebook and yes, Valentine has arrived in the city.
I finally leave work and go home for a walk. I entered a lingerie store with the idea of replacing three panties that should have closed for death long ago. "I can help you?". No thanks. "I wanted three panties and here I have them" (I shake my panties with a fake smile than the Queen Mother). "I have a matching bra and garter belt ... you're dying." I rather not. "But look, it's super sexy!" Already, but ... "Try it, fool." And suddenly, As if by magic of Jorge Blass I am in the fitting room with a red bra - New Year's Eve with a quarter and a half of filling in each cup and a rococo garter belt. I feel Mama Noël. In an oversight, while I look at my ass, the saleswoman peeks through the curtain of the fitting room and asks me "how are you, kid?" All right. I think so loud GO PLEASE I think I hear in Helsinki. Total, that I was going for three “battle” panties and I go with a sexy housewife costume.
I get home, leave the bag with the pure-passion-colored underwear on the table, take out of the backpack a box with two pink heart-shaped donuts and he pounces on me without telling me anything. "I like you when you shut up", I whisper to the dog.
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